Dating has changed so much over the years, even the word itself wasn’t used back in the day. It was referred to as ‘courting’ meaning the person you plan to one day marry. However, things have changed so much that people date just so they can say they’re in a relationship. Others date because they hate the thought of being alone. Whilst still others, date because of the advantages they think being in a relationship comes with.
“The person you are dating, should be the person you will eventually marry”
I’m not saying a month or two from now, or even 6 years from now. What I am saying is within a reasonable time frame.
Culture has gotten so many things backwards and one of them is when you should finally get married. You see so many people go backwards instead of going forward. Couples first have a baby, then fall in love, and some end up married while others just keep ‘dating.’
When you enter a relationship, you won’t fully know your partner within a month, but 5 years is too long. What is your ultimate goal in the relationship? The correct answer is marriage. If you’re with a person for over a year, I promise you, deep down you already know what kind of person they are. After you find out what kind of person your partner is, you have a choice to make:
“Do you want to spend the rest of your life with them or do you wanna call it quits?”
So many of us are looking to other human beings to fill the void in our hearts but that will never be enough. In John 4, Jesus talked to the woman at the well. At the surface, the verse doesn’t have much to do with this but if you dig a little deeper, you will see what He was really trying to tell her.
In verse 18, Jesus said to her “for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband..” But before this He said (v.10) “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.”
Jesus was explaining to the woman that all this time, she was looking to satisfy the deep thirst she felt in her soul, in the arms of men but she was never going to find it there.
He then proceeded to tell her that the only one who can satisfy the longing she felt inside was God.
“He was and is the source of life and the only one who is capable to fulfill our thirsty soul, no mortal will ever be able too”
I mentioned previously that there are a few people (more than 25%) that get into a relationship because they don’t want to be alone. However what these people fail to realize is that when you use a relationship to validate yourself, it doesn’t lead anywhere good. You end up sucking the life out of the other person and both of you end up unhappy. You steal the other persons chance for happiness because you’re unhappy with yourself.
“The thing is, you can’t bring God sized needs to other human beings and expect them to fulfill those needs but for some reason, we love to do that in relationships”
Humans can not act in a God size capacity ever so we need to stop treating them like they can.
That is the problem our society has today, we run into the arms of people instead of to the arms of God.
“If we ran to God with all our needs and wants instead of to mere human beings, we would get a chance to see the Hand of God at work”
We are the ones limiting God. He is not to blame, we are.
Relationships have been given a new ‘norm’ which happens to overlap with the nature of God. You can’t expect to enter a relationship and expect the other person to fulfill all your needs. However that is what we are doing today. They can’t love you the way you crave to be loved because they don’t know how to. Only God can love you with that kind of love because He is the creator of love.
Once you stop searching for your identity in a relationship, you’ll get a chance to have a relationship. You may be wondering what exactly I mean by that but bear with me. If two people are in a relationship where each one expects something from the other, couldn’t you say that is an arrangement? You can’t really call it a relationship because when you’re in a relationship, you reveal bits and pieces of yourself to the other person. But,
“How can you reveal yourself if you don’t truly know yourself?”
When you seek a relationship for the wrong reasons, you lose your true self and create an identity in that relationship. So without that relationship you are lost (meaning you don’t know who you are anymore). By doing this you put too much pressure on your partner which has very ugly end results.
“Before you start to date, and get into a relationship with another human being, make sure you first have a relationship with Christ. Make sure you know who you are and in whom your identity is found.”
P.s. Stay tuned for part two of this mini series 🙂