Tell me what you really want.

Wow. Seriously? Again?! I’m sure that I’m not the only girl who has been through this. You talk to a guy and then he slowly fades out of the picture.

No call, no text, without an explanation.

He just vanishes.

Then he comes back again. Then he leaves, then comes back. You get the gist of it. It’s an ongoing cycle that seems to have no end.

So I’ve liked this guy awhile back but after he disappeared, stopped writing/texting, I got over him. Although it didn’t happen as quickly as I hoped, it still happened. That’s what counts.

So a few days ago, he resurfaced. He wanted to hang out, watch a movie. As you probably already guessed, I was busy. But honestly? I’m furious about all this!

I moved on.

I stopped caring about who you were hanging out with.

I stopped caring who you thought was better than me.

I stopped waiting around the phone hoping you would call/text.

I stopped wondering why I wasn’t good enough.

I stopped crying myself to sleep every night.

I just stopped.

___

But now that you resurfaced? So have my feelings. I tried to make them disappear but that didn’t work out to great.

Why couldn’t you just leave me alone?

___

I don’t get them. I don’t understand guys at all.

Why can’t you just be straight up with me? You like me? Cool. You just wanna be friends? Okay. You hate me? Ok. Literally just tell me.

I’m tired of the guessing game. I’m tired of overthinking things. I’m tired of going through the same things over and over again.

I’m tired of sitting here wondering if you’re going to ask me out again.

I’m tired of wondering what if.

I’m just tired.

___

All I want from you is the truth. Is that so difficult of you to do?

Let me know exactly what you want from me. I’m a big girl, I can handle myself. Tell me what you want from me or leave me alone. Honestly? I don’t have time for this.

I deserve better than that and I know that now. It just took me this long to realize it. You have no right to come back into my life whenever you feel like it.

I realize that some part of me is still holding out some, hoping that you’ll come back around. But this could have been avoided if you just stayed gone.

I had closure. You took that from me. And now I want it back.

___

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