How Do You Know Someone Is “The One?”

When it comes to relationships, about half of us are unsure if the person we’re with is “the one.” We don’t know if that’s who we were meant to be with or if there is someone better out there for us. So how do you know if your partner is “theone?” Well I didn’t have a clue and I’m still a bit unsure. I only recently learned more about this topic. About a day ago, I watched this YouTube video by Jefferson Bethke called How Do You Know Someone Is “The One”? In his video he talked about how there really isn’t “the one” During this video I wrote down a couple of things that I thought were important.

  • There isn’t an exact answer
  • Scripture doesn’t give us cookie cutter answers
  • There isn’t such thing as “the one”
    • logically this could never work. For example say someone marries the ‘wrong’ person, does this mean that they mess up a whole lineage?
  • It puts too much pressure on the other person
  • Only God and Jesus could satisfy this need for “the one”
    • Many girls tend to have this belief, and they put a burden on the guy that he can’t bare. It crushes him, not matter how much he loves you and does for you, you want him to do a little more and a little better
  • It’s not about finding the one, it’s about preparing yourself to be the one.
  • A lot of the time, we just want to find the one because we’re lazy. We want to find a guy who has all the attributes that fit our lives perfectly so that we don’t have to change.
  • God says marriage is to make us holy, more than to make us happycouple-happy
  • Concentrate on yourself, think of what you can do to better suite your spouse.
  • When you believe in “the one,” you start to idolize it. And when your partner messes up, you get depressed or sad
  • But if your identity is in God, then when the person messes up, you can give them grace, give them forgiveness, give them love
  • When your identity is in your partner, then you will always react when something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to
  • If you are in a christian and Godly community, honestly you can pick whoever you want.
    • It’s not about finding the one, it’s treating that person with grace, mercy, you can do that with anyone
  • The worst part of up holding the standard of “the one” is that you miss out on good Godly people all around you, you’re walking past you’re future spouse every day
  • When you understand the God gives you freedom and you’re living in intimacy with Him, you start to notice people in your life who might make a good partner to be on mission with. Someone one to be on a mission with you to do what God has called you to do.

Looking over these notes, I realize that I have never though about it this way. I didn’t realize that when I was upholding the standard of having “the one,” that I was starting to idolize it. I now realize that I’ve already found my one, which is Jesus Christ. Only He can satisfy my needs in a way that no one else can.

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